


Taking my Breath (A Souvenir that you can keep)

by cherryslushietooru



Series: "Sweetness of Student Loans" Twitter AU spin-off/prequel pics ! [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, Lots of kissing, M/M, Making Out, Rough Kissing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Ushijima Wakatoshi is a Good Significant Other, idk why but I like writing kissing scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryslushietooru/pseuds/cherryslushietooru
Summary: Tendou doesn't want to ruin Ushijima's future. Little did he know he himself was Ushijima's future* Title inspired by Souvenir by Selena Gomez(Part of the Sweetness of Student Loans Series, but can be read as a standalone fic)
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: "Sweetness of Student Loans" Twitter AU spin-off/prequel pics ! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982869
Comments: 9
Kudos: 108





	Taking my Breath (A Souvenir that you can keep)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acecoupseu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acecoupseu/gifts), [thatasianpotato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatasianpotato/gifts).



> This was supposed to be a five chapter fic starting with their childhood and ending with where they left off in the twitter au, but it didn't work out because I didn't know how to incorporate it from them as kids to a mature relationship so...here :D I hope its still good !!

Tendou, now age eighteen, was laid on the top bunk in the dorm room. It was his final year of high school, before he would attempt at a life in university. It would be a life he wasn’t usually accustomed to for one reason and for one reason only.

He and Ushijima were heading to different universities.

He and Ushijima had been friends since they were around four to five years old. Tendou remembered the first time he met Ushijima, in the playground at Miyagi when the sun had already set and nobody else was in the park. Ushijima had asked him why he was alone, and he said it was so the kids wouldn’t call him names or try to push him away from the slide. Ushijima made it a habit to come to the playground every time Tendou was there, and they were inseparable since.

Ushijima went everywhere he went, asking him blunt questions and talking about the most random things every time. He was the only person who accepted Tendou for who he was, and even stayed with him for that long. Ushijima was from a rich family. His family owned one of the most successful businesses in Tokyo. Since they were kids, Tendou was the only person Ushijima invited to come over to his house. He even bought Tendou toys or cars or shoes whenever Tendou was getting bullied, but not to the extent that he bombarded Tendou. His family didn’t seem to mind as much, either, even though it was obvious they didn’t want Ushijima to be friends with Tendou.

Didn’t stop Ushijima, though. He was a stubborn guy and didn’t care what his parents were saying about Tendou. Even defended him most of the time.

Of course his family would have their son attend a more prestigious, nationally renowned university that was separate to the standard university that Tendou would be going to. They wanted the future CEO of Shiratorizawa to have the best mode of education. Although the distance between the two universities was only about ten minutes by car, it was still a significant separation from his best friend. Something he hasn’t experiences in years. It came from something that caught him off guard when they were younger to the one stagnant thing in his life.

Ushijima wasn’t going to be far, he reminded Tendou of this multiple times. He wanted to choose a university that would not separate them too much, but still wouldn’t cause a ruckus from his parents so as not to worry Tendou. And Ushijima mentioned they were going to keep in contact everyday, that calls specifically were encouraged on the daily. As much as Tendou appreciated all of this, he knew. It wasn’t the same, and he still wasn’t going to see Ushijima everyday like he used to.

He wished they would just stay in high school forever. It was a wonderful three years; he made more friends, self appearance gradually became less of an issue, and most of all he was able to spend more than twelve hours a day with his favorite person in the world. He was aware it was a selfish thing to think, he also knew Ushijima had his entire life all figured out.

He knew Ushijima needed to keep going forward, he needed to push back all these inconsiderate and selfish desires so Ushijima could succeed and thrive as he would eventually take over the family business. Deep down, Tendou knew that he would not be of much use to his friend in the future, but he needed to keep his spirits up for his sake.

Tendou was going to miss him, yes. Dearly. But it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. He didn’t have the power.

As if he was summoned, Tendou perked up at the sight of his roommate and best friend going up the ladder to the top bunk, “Satori.”

“Wakatoshi-kun.” The redhead simply replied.

“Would it be okay for me to stay with you for the night?”

Warmth crept up both in Tendou’s chest and rising up to his cheeks. It wasn’t unusual for them to share a bed and be in that close and confined space together, but the more it happened the more Tendou’s heart rate picked up during these times.

Tendou only nodded, which the taller male used as a signal to crawl over to the right side of the bed and laid right next to Tendou, laying flat on his back with his hands rested on his chest. He faced Tendou, who started looking absentmindedly at the ceiling. They remain silent for a while, only the sound of each others’ breathing filling up the room.

Ushijima is the first to speak, “We will be graduating in exactly one week.”

Tendou finally turned his full body to face the other male, nodding again, “Yeah, we will.”

“I don’t exactly appreciate…” Ushijima mumbled, like he was trying to find the right words to say, “…the distance I will be having from you.”

The redhead chuckled, attempting to take this all lightly, “We’ll be less than twenty minutes away, Wakatoshi-kun, you think too much~”

“Ten minutes is too far away.” Ushijima remains with his heavy, serious tone which especially now was unreadable to Tendou.

He tried to brush it off again, lightly smacking his friend on the arm, “I’m a big boy now, Waka-kun. I can take care of myself.”

“I know that. I didn’t intend for it to come off as me invalidating your independence or your individuality.” Ushijima said, “I will just miss spending time with you every day. It won’t be the same without my best friend with me.”

“Wakatoshi-kun, listen to me.” Tendou reached out to hold both Ushijima’s with his hands, which at first seemed too bold, but when he saw Ushijima’s wide eyes staring incredulously at him, he knew he was on the right track,

“No matter how many minutes or hours we are apart, no matter how many days we go without seeing each other, you will still be my best friend. I will still be there, albeit not physically at times, to be your best friend. Nothing will change that.”

“I should have applied to the same university as you. What was I thinking, purposefully choosing a completely separate college?”

“Wakatoshi-kunnnn don’t think about that.” Tendou whined, “Some useless guy like me is not worth all that trouble.”

“What did you say?”

Tendou’s eyes look straight to Ushijima’s entire facial expression, which tensed up after Tendou said that last sentence, making the shorter male confused, “I just said…I don’t think I should hold you back from your future, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“What makes you think you would ever be the one holding me back?” His tone was more serious and more stern than the last, and some part of that was beginning to scare Tendou. Especially when Ushijima chose to shift closer to the other male, so close that they could feel each other’s breath,

“I’m just saying, y’know, logically….” Tendou began, sounding unsure, refusing to meet his friend’s intense gaze, “You’re an Ushijima. You’re going to have to take over your parents’ company soon, and…in order to do that, you’re going to have to work really hard. And you’re going to have a lot of business to attend to…in the future…”

Tendou finally looked at Ushijima in the eye, saying, “I’m the least of your concerns or your priorities. I’m just your best friend, and as much as I want to, I can’t do anything that would actually benefit you so just…disregard me just this once. For your own sake.”

Silence fills the room again, only it’s more tense this time. The air is so thick Tendou felt like suffocating in it. He was afraid Ushijima was going to yell at him, or scold him, or even worse; attempt to brush it off like he did.

Ushijima ended up doing none of the above, instead shifting dangerously closer to Tendou. The latter gulped, he had a very strong feeling that he knew where this was going. He didn’t want to believe it, it was a hysterical thought that Tendou himself was even ashamed that he dreamt about the possibility.

He’s wanted to be “closer” to Ushijima for a while, yes, despite his aggressive desire to stop wanting it. Ushijima was a strong constant force in Tendou’s life that made him feel safe and comforted over the years they spent together. Tendou thought that the man was a remarkable and extraordinary person, which is why he felt guilty, ashamed and unworthy of having these feelings for someone like Ushijima Wakatoshi, to the extent that he forced himself not to even daydream about the possibility of the feeling being mutual. 

But the closer Ushijima got, the more Tendou’s doubt was itching to just jump out the window. The olive haired boy’s lips were now just shy of brushing against his, and he felt goosebumps all over his body. This couldn’t be happening, he must be imagining again. This must just be a dream.

But a whisper escaped from the other male’s lips, and they were so close that Tendou could feel his lips move,

“May I?”

The guilt doesn’t wash away, but the tension manages to push it back for the meantime as Tendou mumbled a shaky, “Yes.”

Ushijima wasted no time in locking lips with Tendou, leaning in for a kiss already seeping with passion. He immediately moved his lips swiftly in synch with Tendou’s, savoring the taste of his lips. Tendou slowly tangles their legs together and draped his hands over Ushijima’s neck, giving less of a damn about the rest of the world when he deepened the kiss.

When they pulled away, Tendou felt dizzy. He felt dazed, like he was high or drunk. His dark and negative thoughts began to cloud his mind once again, but a part of him was getting distracted again when Ushijima started planting slow and gentle kisses on his neck.

“You are not the least of my priorities, Satori.” He says breathily, leaving a kiss on Tendou’s jaw, “The level of how much I do prioritize you is concerning, as a matter of fact.”

“Exactly…” Tendou sighs, the shakiness still present in his voice from the current out-of-this-world sensation of Ushijima continuing to press his lips against his skin, “You should stop caring about me so much.”

“I don’t want to.” Tendou gasps at the harshness of his still muttering voice. Ushijima takes both of Tendou’s cheeks with his hands again so he can fully face him like before,

“Satori…I love you. Whenever that started exceeding the normal friendly amount, I do not know for sure. But you’re important to me, you mean a lot to me and I am expressing my anguish of being separated from you because it will hurt not to see you in the morning anymore. Or just before I go to bed. My desire to be around you has only grown stronger, you must realize how much worth you actually have to me. How much of an impact your presence has in my life.”

For once, Tendou didn’t want to think about what would happen next. He didn’t want to think about how many days he has left until graduation or what they would decide to do the college comes around. He just wanted to be in this moment with Ushijima, he wanted to be with Ushijima so badly. No rational thoughts were to be found,

“I love you too…Wakatoshi. You’re so kind and beautiful I…I love you.”

Ushijima leaned in to kiss him hard again, and this time Tendou reciprocated with much enthusiasm. His hands snaked on Ushijima’s back, wanting to be as close to Ushijima as possible. The latter seemed to have gotten the hint, tugging at Tendou’s soft red locks and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss accompanied with a heavy exhale.

“I love you, Satori.” Ushijima breathed out, before chasing Tendou’s lips for another heated kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you, Wakatoshi. I love you I love you I—” Tendou hurriedly said back through his panting, not even being able to finish when lips were against his again, movements frantic and rushed, overflowing with need. Soft moans and other sounds of pleasure were the only ones that escaped Tendou’s lips during their session of intimate and passionate lip locking.

Tendou pulled away for one second, for them to catch their breaths, and also for him to say at an all time high, “I’m so in love with you, Ushijima Wakatoshi…”

Suddenly it appeared Ushijima had the need to feel Tendou again, because he caressed Tendou’s cheek, before pulling him into another languid kiss, pace picking up immediately while their hands began exploring each other’s bodies. Now for the meantime, did Tendou’s thoughts get momentarily thrown out the window. All he wanted now was to savor this moment.

_Sora Sakamoto_

Tendou had heard of that name before. She was from a rich family too, similar to Ushijima’s, maybe the Ushijimas were just a little more known. Being in the advertising world and all. But the Sakamoto family was still a successful family dynasty in Japan.

Sora in particular was the standard beautiful and rich Japanese girl, with long shiny black hair and porcelain skin, with a slim and tall figure for a woman.

So on surface level, it would be reasonable for Ushijima’s mother to select her to be the first option for her son to marry. But it was Tendou who had to discover this.

Tendou, who had been in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi for as long as he could remember. Tendou, who especially had been exploring a past platonic relationship with Ushijima Wakatoshi for the past four years, the man who he discovered was apparently set to be wed to somebody else. Tendou was scared of taking their relationship out in the open with the fear that he might harm Ushijima’s reputation, and seeing this he realized he was right not to take things any further than they already have.

Of course it was only a first option, meaning there were more options. Tendou was at Ushijima’s dorm, the other male telling him to wait while he went to retrieve his bag from the gym. It wasnt even that Tendou was peeking around at Ushijima’s things, the other male just haphazardly left some random documents by the kitchen counter with a sticky note from his mother telling her son to look over “the options he had”.

When he learned the full context of the message through peeking at the first few pages, his heart sank like never before. He felt a jolt of pain in his chest, and his expression was immediately clouded with darkness. Those “options” were for Ushijima’s potential future wife. Something he never thought about, but he realized he should have dreaded.

They were all beautiful women from high class families. The more Tendou looked at their profiles, the more pain he felt, the more insecurity built into himself and the more unattractive he felt in comparison. He felt inferior in every possible way. And not just with the appearance.

Seeing how these girls had money, they had the public image and they had a stable future, it made Tendou reflect on how pathetic his life seemed in comparison. He had no money, he didn’t expect to land a high paying job and there was nothing planned on his future. It made him think once again that he wasn’t worth being around Ushijima.

He was aware Ushijima himself didn’t think this way, to the extent that the olive headed male would repeat himself of this numerous times. It wasn’t like Tendou doubted Ushijima’s love for him, neither was it that Tendou didn’t love him enough to believe they could get through this.

But Tendou was starting to look at it from a larger perspective, which was whether or not Tendou was truly right for Ushijima, not just in the romantic sense but in the whole partner sense. That was why Tendou was picky about who to tell regarding their relationship, and even unsure about labels.

Tendou would do nothing but harm Ushijima’s self image, which would eventually harm his future in some way. Someone as mighty as Ushijima shouldn’t be around someone like him, he thought. It had been that way since they were kids, and it hasn’t changed now. It had only gotten more complicated.

Tendou felt tears prickle in his face thinking about the future. He loved Ushijima dearly, more than anybody in his entire life. He had never felt so much love and care and passion for someone like he did for him.

But to stay with him meant being selfish, it meant disregarding Ushijima’s own future, that he’s worked for his entire life. He didn’t want to drag Ushijima down and make his life even harder with his presence. His family wanted him to marry someone, more specifically a woman, of good fortune. To have kids, and to take over Shiratorizawa.

Tendou was never supposed to be part of that picture. As much as he so badly wanted to be, he thought he would only bring Ushijima harm and dread for continuing to drag him down a path that was against all odds. That had no chance of succeeding and that would be nothing but bad for Ushijima himself.

Tendou didn’t want to leave Ushijima, he would hate to see him with somebody else and he would hate to be without his presence after being in love with him for so long. But he knew Ushijima needed Tendou out of his life to thrive, and so it would be easier for Ushijima to start on that path, Tendou thought it would be best to just go.

So he left a note on top of Ushijima’s files and left his dorm room.

“ _I will make this easier for you, Wakatoshi-kun. I love you so much, you mean everything to me and it is because I love you so much that I have to leave. You have your whole future ahead of you, that future shouldn’t be sabotaged by the likes of me in your life._

_Your company is so much more important and I want you to be able to live for yourself, and not have to bend down just to try and reach me. You can do so much better than me, Wakatoshi-kun, all these girls will be able to give you a much better life than I ever will. Please don’t think of me anymore so you can take the next steps of being a successful heir of Shiratorizawa. That is who you’re meant to be._

_I will always love you, Wakatoshi. I am not the one for you, but you will always be the one for me._

_Please forget about me, I am the thorns in your bed of roses that you need to cut off. Move forward and don’t look back, I will always be cheering for you in the sidelines._

_Yours, Satori._ ”

He put his phone on silent and backed a bag, telling his roommate he would be staying at another friend’s dorm for the meantime because Ushijima would definitely go over there and try to talk to him. When he arrived at Yamagata’s dorm room, he did nothing but cry, mumbling about how much he missed Wakatoshi, how much he loved Wakatoshi and how unfair the world was for bringing them apart like this.

Yamagata felt awful he couldn’t do anything about it. When Tendou was asleep, he noticed Tendou’s phone was off and when he turned it on, he saw the redhead’s phone light up endlessly, filled with text messages and missed calls from Ushijima. His heart sank at the boy who was now sleeping soundly at the couch with puffy eyes, and then back at the phone that still continued to light up with notifications from only one person.

The circumstances were truly awful.

Two weeks had past since Tendou left Wakatoshi’s apartment, and he only felt even more pain as time went by. It hadn’t even been a month yet, and Tendou already felt the deep depths of misery in Ushijima’s absence. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought Ushijima would be better off this way but he never knew it would be this bad for himself.

He felt the anguish possess his entire being, he couldn’t sleep properly and Yamagata had to force feed him most of the time. He doesn’t know how much more of this he could handle.

Yamagata was gone for a good twenty minutes or so, Tendou was alone in the dorm once again perched up on the couch. He was hugging his knees after sobbing out a fresh set of tears just a few minutes ago. He doesn’t know how many times he’s cried since he got there, his eyes felt swollen and red and they never seemed to wear off because Tendou would eventually find himself crying again.

He needed Ushijima so badly. He wanted to hold Ushijima and hug him and kiss him and the thought of him not being able to do those things ever again made Tendou feel like he was suffocating.

There was a sudden knock on the door, halting Tendou’s quiet sniffling. Assuming it was just Yamagata back from wherever he went, the redhead went over to open the door. Only when he opened it, not only was it definitely not Yamagata.

It was Ushijima Wakatoshi, in the flesh, staring at him with those beautiful dark eyes, panting like he had run an entire mile. Upon seeing him at that moment Tendou had no thoughts in his mind, rational or irrational. His brain just short circuited and he was frozen in place.

“W-Wakatoshi…..” Tendou’s voice trembled, the only reason he was stepping back was so he could let Ushijima in. He knew he shouldn’t be, he remembered what the point of that whole separation was and it was against things like this. But he couldn’t take it anymore.

Neither could Ushijima himself, “Satori…” He exhaled, stomping over to Tendou after closing the door and desperately pressing his lips against his. Tendou, against his better judgement, kissed him back with an equal amount of need and desperation, holding him close.

Ushijima poured everything onto the kiss, as if he had been starved for ages. He protectively held Tendou’s body close to his, “Satori…” He says, almost begging, before connecting lips with him once again in a hard and fast pace.

“Wakatoshi” Tendou manages to barely whisper before Ushijima’s lips find his again, the series of kisses were rushed and unprepared. Almost sloppy. But Tendou wanted nothing more than to have Ushijima like this again.

They reluctantly pull away for air, both men panting with flushed cheeks and bruised lips. Both Ushijima’s hands were on Tendou’s cheekbones while the latter had his pale slender arms around broad shoulders.

Tendou enjoyed this, he cherished this moment and it meant everything to be with Ushijima this way, but the rationality kicked in once again, “W-Wakatoshi.” Tendou says, the brokenness in his voice making the other male tense up, “W-Wakatoshi, you shouldn’t be here.”

“N-No, Satori, I should be here with you—“

“This was too painful to say in person, but…” Tendou’s voice begins to break, “Y-You can’t be with me anymore…it’s not right…”

“That’s not true, Satori, that couldn’t be any more wrong—“

“I want you to live a life you will never regret, Wakatoshi.” Tears begin to stream from the redhead’s eyes, “You can’t have that with me, you’ll ruin everything you’ve ever worked for.”

“Satori.” Ushijima simply said, Tendou was silent, just looking at the man he loved who continued to gently hold his face and gaze at him intently, “Satori, there is something I would like to say…”

“W-What—“ Tendou loses his voice, his sentence replaced with a gasp when Ushijima pulls something from his pocket and gets down on two knees. It’s a black velvet box, Tendou simply stares at the sight unable to believe that this was actually happening,

“Satori, I want you to remember how much I love you.” He stares at Tendou like he is the only person in the entire universe, Tendou just stares at him incredulously, unable to speak or even move,

“You are the love of my life, Satori, I love you more than anyone else in the world and there is nobody I would rather spend my entire life with. The hardest part of my life would be if you were no longer there, and I will not allow it. My future is pointless if you are not a part of it, I do not want to live a life without your love, and nobody will ever fill up the space in my heart that I have for you. There is no one else that is right for me, Satori, you need to understand this.”

“B-But Wakatoshi…” Tendou tries through his sobs, “Y-Your family…”

“They don’t matter. Neither does my company and neither does my position in the business. You are the only one that matters to me, Satori. My future will truly be sabotaged if they do succeed in taking you away from me, I will never forgive them if they managed to do that, and I will not live the life I truly want. I don’t care about anything or anyone else that isn’t you. I do not consider that you are not from a good family, or that you were not born of wealth, you make me incredibly happy and I am certain that nothing else from the future they have in store for me will even come close.”

“Y-You need to think this through—“

“I have. Living those fourteen days without you already made me feel like I was going to lose it. Not being able to see and to kiss your beautiful face, not being able to hear your voice, not being able to hold your body close, it was torture. I could not stop thinking about you, Satori, and I did not even bother to try because I know I would fail and I did not want to attempt to forget you. It was a miserable time for me, and I am not going to live the rest of my life that way, I have decided. I am not going to live without you, Satori, it is not a life worth living.”

“W-Wakatoshi-kun…” was all Tendou could say at the moment. His heart swelled up staring at the man who said all those stupidly wonderful things. He felt like he should still convince Ushijima this wasn’t a good idea, that this wasn’t worth it, but he felt the pain in Ushijima’s voice (thought most people wouldn’t). He felt that Ushijima was just as upset as he was during their time apart, and it wasn’t any good for either of them.

“Marry me, Satori.” Ushijima pleaded, opening the box to reveal a silver band, “I want to be wedded only to you. There is nobody else I would have as my partner for life, and there will never be anyone other than you, my sweet and beautiful Satori. Please. Be my husband.”

Tendou, until now, still felt like he should stop Ushijima. He felt the need to warn Ushijima one last time of the consequences of all this. But his heart took over his mind when he let out a teary, “Yes, yes I will marry you, Wakatoshi-kun. I will be your husband.” As he was brought to his knees as well.

Ushijima let out a sigh of relief along with a small fond chuckle, quickly placing the ring on Tendou’s finger before bringing him to another tight embrace and another passionate kiss. Tendou wrapped his arms around Ushijima’s body, melting into the kiss while tears still continued to stream on his face.

“I love you so much, Satori.” Ushijima’s voice shook, before bringing his lips to Tendou’s once again, “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you, Wakatoshi. You don’t know how much love I have for you.” Tendou cried, pulling Ushijima close, “And I missed you.”

“I missed you as well.” Ushijima said, eagerly chasing Tendou’s lips for another long and eager kiss, before pulling away to press their foreheads against each other, “We should no longer be apart from each other.”

“I agree.” Tendou sniffled, “Turns out I love you too much to let you go.”

They both stayed in a tight embrace on the floor, Tendou’s arms wrapped around Ushijima’s neck while the other male had his arms wrapped around the shorter’s waist, pressing small kisses on the other’s shoulder. Tendou smiled, shifting closer and savoring the embrace.

He really was an idiot for thinking Ushijima Wakatoshi was just going to leave him alone after all that, and he couldn’t be any more happy being one. 


End file.
